An Evening Examination of Conscience.

One of the greatest helps to progress in the Spiritual life is a daily examination of conscience. This exercise which does not last beyond a couple of minutes brings you face to face with your dark side. It could be scary at first and very difficult but with determination you can get used to it.

If you never get to examine your heart, you are like a sick patient refusing to go to the hospital for medical check-up (tests) believing that he or she is okay simply by taking Panadol. You know what happens to such persons. Isn’t it?

Here is a simple formula for an examination of conscience:

1. Imagine that God appeared to you right now and asks you: “Out of all the commandments, which of them do you think should be removed? Which of them is no longer relevant or too difficult to keep?”

What would your response be?

In your answer lies your greatest sinful inclination! In your answer, you would get to know what has been blocking God from you and leading you closer and closer to hell.

2. How do you feel when asked by others to come and pray?

Do you feel joyful and happy like you feel when told that your lover wants to see you? Or do you grumble, give an excuse or ask for more time with what you are doing?

This should tell you how much love you have for God and who God is to you. Prayer is an act of love-making between best of friends, you and God. What sort of friend would pay a visit to his love only to find him or her grumble at his presence, absent minded or talking so fast as if he is not a welcome guest?

Sometimes, the moment we start praying, we just can’t wait for the prayer to end so that we can jump off as fast as we can into other activities; activities which we believe are capable of giving us more joy. So sad.

The less joy we derive from prayer, the colder our hearts are towards God. And a cold heart can never grow in Spirit.

3. In the course of your day, what have you given up for God?

This question requires you to flip through your activities one after the other. The closer we get to God, the deeper our love for him and the more we are willing to make little sacrifices for him daily. Have you ever given a gift to somebody you love so much and watch how the person collects it with absolute delight? Do you notice how you become drawn to the person?

Giving food to a hungry person can be a little sacrifice as long it is done for God whom you love and want to be closer to. Turning your eyes from the object of lust consciously, refusing to take money for some good deed rendered to a stranger, etc. These are little gestures that colour our day and spice up our relationship with God.

Conclusion:

Please do not restrict yourself to this formula. The point behind this whole exercise is to stop, break off from the busy day and examine our lives. The saying that you cannot eat your cake and have it, is very true: You cannot grow in Spirit unless you work at it and a great work for growth is a daily examination of conscience.