Homily
for August 16, 2017
As long as
humans live together, there are bound to be moments of friction, disagreement,
misunderstanding and tension. Most times, disputes begin unintentionally like little
sparks of fire but when not properly managed, they begin large balls of fire
capable of bringing down whole communities.
At the
bottom line of most of our quarrels are:
1. Pride.
This is
the natural tendency in every human being to refuse to accept that he or she is
wrong. Yes, I may be right but I need to consider the fact that from the other
person’s perspective, I may be wrong as well. It is not a matter of knowing who
is wrong, but a matter of humbling myself to accept that I am not perfect.
2. Anger.
Anger is a
type of disease. I call it a dis-ease not in terms of a medical condition but
in that when one is angry, he or she is no longer as ease. Anger is a natural
defence mechanism which is triggered when the body senses danger, oppression or
disrespect.
Anger
leads to hatred and a strong desire to make the other person sad but then the
more we try to take away the happiness of others consciously and unconsciously,
we only succeed in reducing our own peace and happiness.
3.
Attachment to Material Things.
It is
difficult to hear people quarrel over purely spiritual things. Most of our quarrels
are fuelled by our extreme love for the things of this world for instance
money, possession, property, rights or privileges. We fight to get back what
others have taken away from us forgetting that we brought absolutely nothing to
this world.
4. Refusal
to Forgive.
Forgiveness
is very strong medicine. Like most medicines, it is very bitter and could even
involve piercing oneself with a needle (injection), but the effects are
wonderful. We often withhold forgiveness because we feel justice has not been
served or because the other person is yet to apologize. The truth is that the
longer it takes us to forgive, the longer our healing waits.
In all of
this, Jesus Christ himself gives a solution to solving quarrels and disputes.
He said, the first step should be to go to the person who has hurt us ONE on
ONE. Matthew 18:15. This first step is often the most difficult to do. People get
to hear what others have done to us long before we even summon courage to
approach the person who offended us.
It is only
when the one on one encounter fails that we can now involve one or two others.
Take note, Jesus said, one or two others not the whole community immediately.
And this one or two should be persons well respected capable of brokering peace
without bias; person who are not afraid to tell us the truth if we are the ones
wrong.
It is only
after the one or two cannot solve the problem that it then becomes a community
affair. And I am very sure, Jesus meant this as a last resort. By this time, it
becomes clear that the person involved has actually refused to let go of the
quarrel.
Jesus then
goes on to talk about prayer which is basically our human attempt to involve
God in the matter. Jesus says: “When two or three are gathered in my name,
there am I in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20. Let God be involved in the
matter. There is no judge as wise or as impartial as God himself. Allow God to
settle the dispute by putting the whole matter before him in prayer while you
relax and watch events unfold.
In conclusion,
the keys to settling disputes are humility (putting yourself in the shoes of
others), letting go of Anger, letting go of attachment to material things,
consciously deciding to forgive and above all following the 3-step plan of
Jesus which culminates in prayer.
Let us
pray: Lord Jesus, give me wisdom to handle disputes and quarrels. Amen
Be Happy.
Live Positive. Have Faith. It is well with you. God bless you. (Wednesday
of the 19th Week in Ordinary Time. Bible Study: Deuteronomy 34:1-12
and Matthew 18:15-20).
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