Forgiveness is Always the Best Option.

Homily for September 17, 2017


Looking at today’s first reading from the book of Ecclesiasticus, you would agree with me that it is already a complete homily on its own. All I would do now is to highlight the points and see how the other readings add flesh to the message.

*Anger is a sin.*
As our first reading puts it: “Anger and wrath, these are also abominations, and the sinful man will possess them.” Note that there is a difference between becoming angry (a natural human reaction) and harbouring anger and bitterness in your heart.

I could be angry right now but if I don’t let that anger go, if I continue to act based on my anger and I begin to plan revenge and retaliation, my anger becomes a sin. No wonder St. Paul says: “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27.

Anger is a sin because the devil always capitalizes on it, takes possession of our souls and make us take decisions, say things and behave in a way we later regret. According to St. Bernard: “The eye disturbed by anger cannot sin.”

*How do I prevent anger from leading me into sin?*
As St. Paul would say, “By not letting the sun set on our anger.” In other words, by forgiving quickly and immediately. Time is a key factor when it comes to forgiveness, the earlier I forgive, the easier it is but when I delay forgiveness, the devil takes advantage of it and makes the offence look bigger and bigger in my eyes.

Then before you know it, I begin to tell myself I can’t forgive again. What is really happening is that the devil wants me to hold on to my anger and remain sad.

St. Paul tells us in our second reading today, “none of us lives to himself… whether we live or we die, we belong to the Lord.” The devil knows we don’t belong to him but the only way he can hold on to us is through anger and bitterness so he is happy when we refuse to forgive and drop our anger.

*Each time I forgive, I do Myself a Great favour.*
Our first reading again says: “Forgive your neighbour the wrong he had done, then your sins will be pardoned when you pray.” This is exactly what Jesus teaches us in the Lord’s Prayer, “if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:15. As painful as forgiveness is, we are always the one benefitting from it when we forgive and we gain nothing when we refuse to forgive. 

Do you remember the story of the Prodigal son? Let’s look at the elder brother. He came back from work and noticed the sound of music in the house and asks what is happening, he is told of the return of his brother but instead of going in, he shuts himself out. His father had to come outside to beg him but he refuses. This is what happens to us each time we refuse to forgive; we keep ourselves outside of God’s Kingdom.

As Ronald Rolheiser puts it: “What is keeping him outside, since, after all, he is doing everything correctly? Bitterness and Anger. A bitter, unforgiving heart is just as much a blockage to entering God’s house as is any moral transgression. We can be scrupulously faithful and still find ourselves standing outside of God’s house and outside of the circle of community and celebration because of a bitter heart.”

*To be bitter is to be in Hell*
If you want to know how hell feels like, then observe how sad you feel when you see a brother or sister that you have refused to forgive. Let it not be that after living a good life on earth, keeping all the commandments of God only for me to get to heaven and meet certain persons there that I have refused to forgive then I tell God I am not going in. When I don’t forgive, I not only make life hell for me, I also make myself a perfect candidate for hell when I die.

According to St. Alphonsus de Ligouri, “to yield to anger is never profitable to ourselves or to others. If it produces no other evil, it at least robs us of peace. Aggripinus the philosopher having once lost some of his goods said: ‘if I have lost my property I will not lose my peace.’ The disturbance of mind to which we give way on account of the maltreatment we receive from others is more hurtful to us than the injuries offered to us. Senaca has said: ‘My anger will hurt me more than their insults.’ He who indulges in anger is a cause of pain to himself.”

When I refuse to forgive, the person I am angry with is walking about freely but due to my bitterness, I surround myself with evil spirits; these evil spirits will won’t allow me eat because they are reminding of what people did to me, when I lie down, the evil spirits will not let me sleep because they are reminding me of what the person did, I become a prisoner, I become restless and my health is affected.

*But should I always forgive?*
This is where the words of Jesus in our Gospel passage today comes to play. When Peter asked about the number of times to forgive, he was expecting seven since the number seven symbolizes completion or perfect. But he was shocked that Jesus said: “No, seventy times seven.” Meaning we should not even count it.

One thing we must know is that unforgiveness does no good to us whatsoever, we gain nothing by holding on to pain and bitterness. Unforgiveness also does no good to the person we are angry with. Unforgiveness will not even bring the person to repentance or make him change his ways. Unforgiveness will not solve the problem at all or bring us restitution. Unforgiveness will not even stop the person from offending you again or even doing a greater harm when you now become enemies but forgiving the person earns you a friend instead.

Unforgiveness will only make God angry with us since we are withholding from others what he himself has given to us in a greater proportion. If I find it difficult to forgive, I only need to take a record of my sins since I was born and weigh them in comparison to what others have done to me. It will be like the man who was forgiven ten thousand talents yet he could not forgive one hundred denarii.

*Conclusion*
It always looks foolish to forgive, it looks like we are weak when we forgive, it is always a sacrifice to forgive but the truth is that we aren’t wiser, stronger or better when we do not forgive. We always do ourselves a greater good when we let go and forgive. Naked I came from my mother’s womb, naked I shall return. (Job 1:21) What do I have in this world that I was given? What is it that can be taken from me that I will not eventually leave behind when I die? Nothing! Nothing!

Let us pray: Lord Jesus, I surrender my pains, my bitterness, my anger to you. I drop them at your feet as my gift since I have nothing better to give you. I leave them and walk away knowing I am free; free to live again; free to love again even those who I once carried in my heart. Amen.

Happy Sunday. Be Happy. Live Positive. Have Faith. It is well with you. God bless you. (Twenty fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Year A. Bible Study:  Ecclesiasticus 27:33-28:9, Romans 14:7-9 and Matthew 18:21-35.)

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