The Secrets of the Holy Family.

Homily for Sunday 29^th December 2019. Read Sirach 3:3-7,12-17; Psalm 127; Colossians 3:12-21 and Matthew 2:13-15,19-23.

_“And he rose and took the child and his mother by night, and departed to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfil what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, "Out of Egypt have I called my son.” *(Matthew 2:14-15).*_

Today we are celebrating the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Today, we celebrate the fact that God took flesh and lived within the family setting thereby sanctifying the family as the best place for human growth and development. In today’s Gospel passage, Joseph, acting on information received in a dream woke Mary at night and in obedience, she picked up the baby and a few of their belongings and they fled to Egypt. This incidence proves that there is no such thing as a perfect family; there is no family without its own challenges and difficulties.

So the question is: How do we make our families like that of Jesus, Mary and Joseph regardless of our challenges? In other words, what are the secrets of the Holy Family

*1. Respect for Parents.*

Once children lose respect for their parents and they stop obeying them, those children attract curses unto themselves. “Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord.” (Sirach 3:16. Also, read Proverbs 30:17) Indeed, if we are cursed, our families can never be holy. On the other hand, when we honour (respect and obey) our parents and make them happy, there are several blessings we receive.

_a. Forgiveness of Sins:_ “Whoever honours his father atones for sins.” (Sirach 3:3) “For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins, it will be credited to you… as frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away.” (Sirach 3:14-15)

_b. Riches and Prosperity in Life:_ “Whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. (Sirach 3:4)

_c. Fruit of the Womb:_ “Whoever honours his father will be gladdened by his own children. (Sirach 3:5)

_d. Answers to Prayers:_ “When he prays he will be heard. (Sirach 3:5)

_e. Long Life:_ “Whoever glorifies his father will have long life.” (Sirach 3:6)

I wonder how on earth some children could turn against their own parents, how children would keep malice with their parents, how children would afford to even raise their hands on their parents or accuse them of witchcraft like in a viral video I once saw where some children disgraced their own mother in public because their pastor told them she was responsible for all their problems. Those children, by their action, have attracted curses to themselves, curses which the pastor will not be able to deliver them unless they return their mother and beg for her forgiveness.

*2. Cherish Parents When they are old.*

This respect and honour for our parents is even more demanded when they are old. Old age ordinarily is a blessing, we all pray to live old. But how we enjoy old age depends on our children, if they abandon us, old age becomes a burden because, at old age, we return to being dependent on others like little babies. Don’t grieve your parents when they are old. Forgive whatever wrong they may have done to you in the past. As Sirach says: “O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him.” (Sirach 3:12-13)

*3. Fear of God.*

Another great point we must keep in mind to make our families holy is the fear of God. Our responsorial psalm today sings: “Blessed are those who fear the Lord and Walk in his ways.” When you fear God, this is what will happen in your family: “You shall eat the fruit of the labour of your hands; you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” (Psalm 128:2-3). Don’t be deceived by men of God who tell you your family is cursed by your village ancestors and all that funny stories, ask yourself: “Do I fear God?” Could this be the reason my family is not doing well?

*3. Forgive One Another.*

Without forgiveness, there cannot be a holy family. Recall how Jesus stayed behind in the temple at age twelve causing Mary and Joseph so much grief and extra stress in making the two-day journey to search for him? It is true that the Bible says “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.” (Proverbs 23:13) It is also true that sometimes forgiveness works more magic than the rod.

When you apply the rod all the time, the child develops a hardened heart, he thinks you hate him/her and begins to seek love outside the home. You become an enemy. This is the point St. Paul makes when he concludes our second reading saying: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21). Some children have low self-esteem problems because of the constant barrage of insults they receive from their parents, they have stopped believing in themselves and they feel they cannot amount to anything good. Some children find it difficult to confide in their parents or confess their sins to their parents only to end up getting advice from the wrong places.

Forgiveness also applies to husbands and wives. It is not possible that husband and wife will not offend each other. The love that ignites marital vows is different from the love that sustains marriage. If your love is to last, you must forgive one another repeatedly; seventy-seven times seven times. You must die to the past every minute and continue to trust your partner even if you have no reason to. Let Jesus be your role model of forgiveness as St. Paul says: “Forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you.” (Colossians 3:13)

*4. Prayer and Responsibility.*

Between Joseph and Mary, who was the prayer warrior? Let me leave you to debate on that. If you say Mary was the prayer warrior, I wonder why it was to Joseph that the angel appeared to warn him about the child’s safety. Men who neglect prayers in the name of it’s a woman’s duty are very bad fathers. As a man, you should be the one seeing visions and dreaming big for your family. Every man is the Joseph of the house. You command you provide, you protect and to do this, you must be deeply connected to God. Twice Joseph dreamt and received vital instructions. If he wasn’t prayerful, he would have failed in his responsibilities.

It is one thing for wives to be subject to their husbands but subjection without responsibility is slavery. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church, by sacrificing himself for the church. (Ephesians 5:25) A man who does not love his wife (who is not responsible) does not deserve her submissiveness. Note that within the same paragraph that St. Paul said wives must be subject that he said Husbands must love their wives and not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19). Husbands do not use bad language on your wives and wives please respect your husbands even if you want to correct them, still do it with respect.

*Conclusion:*

Achieving a Holy Family is not a matter of luck, it is hard work. Everyone has a role to play. A family that prays together stays together. Pray as if everything depends on God but Work as if everything depends on you. Being an unfaithful spouse is not enjoyment, it is a curse. You will never be happy. No one is beyond the redemption of love. Is your spouse your headache? Start loving him or her like Christ loved us and you will be shocked at the transformation you will see.

Let us pray: Lord Jesus Christ, sanctify our families, repair broken homes, bring us joy and peace, heal our wounds and help us to love one another as you have loved us. Amen

Be Happy. Live Positive. Have Faith. It is well with you. God bless you. (Feast of the Holy Family. Year A. Bible Study: Sirach 3:3-7,12-17; Psalm 127; Colossians 3:12-21 and Matthew 2:13-15,19-23).